Today’s weird topic is “tarantula salad automobile”.
I wondered what would happen if I searched the internet for these three random words. What would the fastfindinternet produce for my review?
Before even opening a Google page, I will ponder.
My thoughts immediately conjure images of a giant tarantula crawling across a table of food. It sticks its multi-eyed head onto the plate and then proceeds uncautiously to crawl onto the food. One by one, its eight bulky furry long legs crunching leaves of lettuce and cucumber slices. She pauses to consider the cherry tomato but stretches over it easily. The diner is unaware because he has left the table for a moment, to use the restroom. A tiny but functional water closet in the corner of his RV. Like a stretch limousine in Westchester chauffeuring the wealthy, this great airport limo automobile that has transported him and his future widow to all over their country. Sixty feet of rolling freedom, this afternoon has stopped in the Arizona desert to admire nature’s beauty. But one of nature’s oddest beauties is promenading across their healthy plate of vegetarian salad. Romaine lettuce, sliced green cucumbers, yellow shallots, black olives, and red cherry tomatoes. All have been trounced by her spiny hairy tarantula limbs. On her way to find something more meaty to eat. A cricket, perhaps. She will wait for tonight. One of those creatures also snuck it’s way into the sleeper automobile. But no, tonight the owners will not get any sleep; no respite from the cricket’s song. Not until the she-tarantula dines.
Maybe I have got it all wrong. Perhaps what the fastfindinternet will offer is a recipe. A relatively unknown recipe for dining on this sweetly delicious delicacy of tarantula thorax, and the crunchy saltiness of tarantula legs. Unknown to most Americans, but not to the less discriminate palates of the Far East. Perhaps less discriminate is not the correct description. The villagers have very discriminating tastes. They have learned how to produce the most colorful flavors through the passage of many generations of recipe perfection. Mother to daughter, grandmother to grand-daughter, aunt to niece. All have experimented with various preparation techniques and all have produced their favored method of preparing tarantula salad. One think is consistent though. All over Cambodia, the various village families have all learned that the best way to harness all the juicy midsection flavor of this yummy arachnid is to deep fry it. Deep fried tarantula. The hot bubbly peanut oil searing in all the juices, while softening the spiny hairs and crunching the leggy exoskeleton. Absolutely the best may of preparing tarantula salad. Now they just need to toss in some caterpillars and mealworms. Yummy.
So what does Google show us when we ask the fastfindinternet for a result?
Type it in for yourself and see which of these silly ideas is closest to what shows up on your search. It will be fun!